Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
