we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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