Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize