see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
