Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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