I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
