I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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