Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
