HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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