wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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