DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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