Yo dont text me then not text me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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