Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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