TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
