no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
