a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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