this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
