Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Panties = found
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
