Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
