i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
should my penis look like a turkey
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
