1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
