The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
