i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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