Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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