i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
