I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My life is pants optional.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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