I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
