i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
