Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
