Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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