but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
