you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
