You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
