susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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