i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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