you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
