Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
