You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
