Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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