that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
