you guys were way drunker than both of me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
