It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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