I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
