4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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