All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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