How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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