Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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