shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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