At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
