I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this will be a night to untag.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
