and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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