Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't deserve a penis
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
