I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
