wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
