Soap is not a condiment
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
