so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
