I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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