in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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