You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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