One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
