We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
