I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
