The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
