So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
